Bloodied Snow
by BeehiveOneThreeZer0
Summary: No matter how much time has past, no matter how far he's gone... he still can't say his name.


Note: Sort of a sequel to Any Other Way.

Any of you heard Lucy by Skillet? This part is dedicated to someone who I closely relate to that damn song. It's so goddamn depressing I nearly cried the first time I heard it. It still makes me all weepy.

Listen to it while you read if you can.

Again. This is going to be really, really short.

That's the way it's supposed to be.

---XV^V^V^V^V^X^V^V^V^V^VX---

"Hey…" he whispered, leaning up against the cold stone. He rolled the stem of a rose between his fingers, nervous, almost feeling silly. "It's been a while…"

The air was still, only an occasional brush of wind that could bruise skin with its heaviness and cold. A gust came up, tousling his hair and biting against his skin. He shut his eyes, taking it in with a breath of fresh air… it seemed suffocating regardless.

"I'm sorry I took so long," he whispered, pausing again as his heart beat against his chest. He looked down at the rose, it was starting to wilt he'd been here so long, prolonging the one sided conversation with an unseen spirit hidden by engraved letters and black marble.

"Things have been kinda strange lately in the past three years…" He bit his lip, looking down to brush away some leaves that had gathered nearby at a corner. "I miss you."

He turned and put one arm over the stone, his fingers still holding the rose. His other hand brushed the engraved letters as he pretended for a moment that he was with him again, near him, instead of this grassy place with cold stones. He closed his eyes and dreamed, hoping, dreaming… that God would bring him back…or take him too.

"I miss you so much…" he breathed, huddling into himself more. He couldn't force the name out of his throat, it just hurt too much to admit he was gone forever. He pressed his head against the stone and fought back tears, biting his lip to prevent it as the memories of better days washed over him.

The laughs.

The smiles.

The friendship.

The ice-cream Wednesdays.

He smiled in spite of himself, the tears finally falling. His shoulders trembled from the strain as he struggled to maintain his composure, his strength, and courage.

"I just can't believe you're gone…" he whispered. "I swear to God I still hear you… see you in the corner of my eye… It's hell-" he still couldn't say his name. He knew it would help the process of healing, but he just couldn't force himself to do it. He lifted his head, the wiping away tears that started to freeze on his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he bit out. "I can't help it… I just…" he gave up, sniffling and covering his face with the hand that had brushed the lettering and sobbed into himself.

The rose fell out of his trembling fingertips and plunged its way to the base of the black marble stone. A couple petals fell out on impact. The bright red contrasted against the black and when he saw it, he just cried harder… it was so nostalgic… so terrible a form of torture by Fate… the petals spread around the whole form like blood, rekindling memories he didn't want to see.

Not today.

Not ever.

His arm slid down and he moved down on the ground, laying across the dying grass in the winter frost. He pressed his cheek into it, fingers curling in the dried blades and soil. "Why did you leave me…?"

_"It's too late."_

He shook his head, not wanting to believe it was his fault… denying the horror.

"_I loved you once… Roxas…" _

He flinched as the sound of a gunshot rang out in his memory, still sharp despite the past years. If he just had one chance... just one… he'd stop it all… but that was a dream, a fairytale… it would never happen.

He curled up and let his body wrack with sobs... snow touched his cheek. He couldn't force himself to leave, remaining there for as long as he could.

And that would be until someone moved his body, rose petals spread around him like blood on the snow.

He opened his eyes to light, warmth like none before, looking up to see a hand reaching out to him, fingers curled in welcome and softness. The blue eyes shimmered like lights on a rainy day… "Axel…" he reached up and let his fingers wrap around his.

For the first time in years, he smiled.

---XV^V^V^V^V^X^V^V^V^V^VX---

I don't think that counts as a happy ending. But it's definitely an ending.

I just noticed, everyone dies in my recent short fictions. Run Over, Forgiven, and now Bloodied Snow.

I kill everyone- not just Roxas or just Axel… but everyone. In Forgiven, I even hint that my OC is going to die soon too. It's sad… maybe that's why I can't write right now… I don't know.

I just hope I can get over this soon.

Oh… almost forgot.

Go listen to Lucy if you haven't already dammit.


End file.
